doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
