Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
