Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was born a porn star she said
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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