I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
