Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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