guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
