dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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