That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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