This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
