So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
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With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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