It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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