is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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