to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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