just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
