i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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