btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm like, not good at living.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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