I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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