the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
