but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
