The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
