i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
