She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
