I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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