I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
