Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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