Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
