Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
