she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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