Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
