Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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