You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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