Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
