So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
