I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
