he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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