Your face is a jimmy john
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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