Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
