I will die if light touches me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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