I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
