She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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