I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize