wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
