Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
