in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think I just sharted jello shots
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