I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
