My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
