At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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