5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Randomize
