One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
