There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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