I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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