Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
