I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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