Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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