i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
