i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
