I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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