Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
