i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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