Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
