Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
