You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
