We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
